#23/11-13-2014

exceptional

i grew up trying
to be
exceptional.

how? it
never mattered.

i’d have been
ecstatic
to learn
i had a
savant’s knack
for badminton
if it might
have taken me
away
from
average.

to be average,
i thought,
is to be
dead.
and
before you say it,
yes.
i know.
you’re
right.

already,
this is
a very
average
tale.

like most others
trying
as i was,
i didn’t see
the irony
in my
ordinary
struggle.
no.
because i
was different.
different
from all
of them.

how?

‘well,’
i’d say.
‘because.’

but i didn’t
ever
really know.

as i grew up,
it became clear
to me
that i did have
one
exceptional
talent.
and that talent
was
drinking.

like a
test pilot
pushing his craft
towards
immovable
barriers
of speed
and sanity,
i drank.

one day after
reaching
mach-99,000
i slipped through
dimensional
time and
became
a black hole.

it’s true what
they say:
no light
escapes.

in this
irrational state,
one has
two choices:
to continue consuming
all light
and matter,
or
to collapse.
to collapse
in upon
oneself.
to collapse
and
see what
the
universe
makes of
you.

both choices
are easy to make.
i’d guess
each one
is made at
a 50/50 clip.

either way,
now
i’m just glad
to be
another person
living on earth.

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