infomercial

does the state of the world

get you down?

do you feel scared

to turn on the news?

do you worry about what you’ll find

when you pick up a newspaper?

 

don’t live in fear of the news;

savor it!

with savory news!

savory news is an invigorating new way

to take in even the world’s

most ghastly news items!

 

simply plug in the

savory news printer to

your computer’s usb port.

feed the required bacon strips into

your savory news printer,

and just sit back and wait for

your delicious news to arrive!

 

savory news uses a patented

“laser-bacon-printing” technology.

watch as your savory news printer

prints the day’s top stories

onto each delicious strip of bacon!

 

the “laser-bacon-printing” technology

ensures that each strip is both

perfectly cooked and

chock full o’news!

 

read the news as you eat!

add the news to a sandwich!

put the news on your burger!

wrap the news around little smokies!

the possibilities are endless

with savory news!

 

what’s that? this offer gets

even better?

order now and personalize your

savory news printer!

we have savory news printers in

hot-rod red,

snowflake white,

midnight blue,

and bubblegum pink

for a sleek look

to take with you anywhere!

 

take savory news with you

wherever you like to commiserate

with others about the news!

take it to parties!

share savory news with your co-workers!

even carry it on a plane!

 

what’s that?

you want even more?!

for a limited time you can

personalize your savory news printer with

an exciting theme!

we have savory news printers for

the whole family!

 

the avengers for the kids!

the bachelorette for your wife!

finding nemo for your infant!

and the new england patriots for dad!

 

 

don’t ever fear looking at the news again!

stuff your face with it every single day–

with savory news!

 

order now and we’ll send you

two savory news printers

for the low, low price

of $19.95

plus shipping and handling!

 

(all bacon sold separately.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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